My Personal Little Checklist

I don’t know if its the new site that I’m on or if I guys are just getting worse and worse.  Either way I kind of had a little moment the other day and wrote out this checklist.  I actually posted it on my profile and I’ve been getting a great response!  Here it is:

:::: READ THIS BEFORE MESSAGING ME :::

1. Do not message me if you do not have a facebook. NO EXCEPTIONS. People who do not have a facebook are either married or hiding something. So “sorry I don’t have a facebook” is not acceptable its just weird.

2. If you can’t afford to take me out (and pay for an actual date). I understand the economy sucks blah blah blah but if you can’t afford to date you probably shouldn’t be on this website. Get this dating website and hit up craigslist JOB section. I can afford to pay for my own but I’m old fashioned and I still believe in courtships.

3. DO NOT try to impress me with your job. If having a Dr. or ESQ by your name is the only way you know how to impress a girl than that’s just sad.

4. If you are looking to get laid than DO NOT WRITE me. I probably won’t even kiss you on the fist date so if that’s the only thing you are looking for than you should probably stop reading now.

5. I have pretty much the exact measurements of Marilyn Monroe and NOT Kate Moss. So if you are looking for a girl with the body of a prepubescent boy than that’s not me.

6. If you are a serial dater good for you but don’t think that you can copy and paste the same message to me and 10 other girls and that will work. I have a bunch of hot friends on here and we tend to compare notes lol.

7. Don’t message me if you live in another state. I’m sure you are wonderful and all but relationships are hard enough when both people live in the same state. Long distance is just too hard for me.

8. If you get my number, that means I obviously like you. Plan something for us to do! I’m not going to chase you down to hang out. You can only ask me “how are you?” “how was your day?” so many times before I get bored. Stop procrastinating…

9. So basically I am forced to start over. If you have messaged me before 1/25/11 than consider your message unread. I currently have 550 unread messages and there are not enough hours in the day to read them all and respond. I’ve created this little checklist so I don’t waste anyone’s time.